making decision in this life is not easy anyway...(1)

do you think it is easy to make a decision...if that is the decision for your life, for the WHOLE of your life...for me it is NOT EASY AT ALL!!!!

really not easy!!!

i even can't write anything now, although i have so many things inside my head even i have talked to san for 50 minutes! (this is really the first time he felt he needed to call me and let his pulse finished in one go) - thanks bun, i love you so much!... there are still a lot of ideas, conflicts in my mind.

one clue: this is about 'job hunting'.

i am going to finish my course this early of May. i need to quickly find a job.

why?

• i need to continue my life, paying room rental, food, transportation, etc.
• i need to pay back tuition fee loan.
• i want to give back to my parents
• i want to save some money for future needed (marriage, school, house?, car?)

what kind of job?

• it is suggested not to continue working in project management field. it leads you to be a leader, a project manager who manage and control.
• it is suggested to continue working as an architect who does drawing and detailing. it sounds more appropriate as a woman (who will be a wife also) to maintain a character of caring, documenting and detailing.

so, what's the problem?

• of course it is a problem! (maybe a problem for me who doesn't know what God exactly wants me to be, not realize where He is going to guide me...hikz)

to be continued...