working

I have been working for 8 days!!!

Thanks God for everything He gave me.
Actually this job kinda challenge to me as it pushes me to study and prepare everything by myself. Can say that I have to be 'greatly independent'. I just thought that 'ok, they know me as graduated master student, they must expect me to do something without a need to tell me how to do it'.

Many things happen since my first day working, I don't want to write those down here as remembering those things will just blow out my spirit and happiness. What I usually do in the morning before I enter the Studio 1@3 door is reminding myself that I need to be the light and the spirit for my team members. I can't just always feel guilty, sad, and self pity. I need to stand and bring the cheerfulness to the bay.

I still don't know how to do my work correctly, but hope that this week I can finish the programme first than take the action starting on Monday. God don't let me walk alone...I'm sure about it.

Remembering that He is with me, it makes me happy...^^

just give thanks...!

beberapa minggu ini capek banget, rasanya badan sudah hampir-hampir ga kuat, padahal mau exam...final exam lagi...pertempuran terakhir, tapi kok semangat kayaknya loyo...hehehe...

banyak pergumulan terjadi, kalau ngelihat wajah di cermin kayaknya serasa jadi lebih tua beberapa tahun karena kebanyakan mikir...hehehe...takuttttttttt...

masalah kerjaan terutama. menyita sebagian besar energi. mulai dari searching, siap2in portfolio-cover letter-resume, ngirimnya, ditelponin, interview (ini aja terbagi dari beberapa section lagi: mandi, keramas, make up, setrika baju, cari alamat kantor itu, pelajari web kantornya, dll), nego salary (yang paling bete kalu bener2 dikasi salary yang rendah banget...hiks).

anyway, aku mau tetep bersyukur, Tuhan sudah kasi kekuatan sampai pada hari ini. Seperti kata Maudy, He has guided me until today, He will always guide me in the future. Seperti di blognya bu Altre ditulis, Tuhan itu Allah dan sahabat kita, Dia yang menanamkan telinga, masakan tidak mendengar seruan kita, Dia yang menciptakan mata, masakan Dia tidak memandang kita yang memerlukanNya. All I have to do now, is to count my blessing, for remember that He will never leave me alone.

In good and bad time...just give thanks! Seperti dalam pergumulan Ayub, dia berkata pada istrinya, masakan kita hanya mau yang baik saja dari Tuhan dan menolak yang jelek. Sekarang mungkin belum waktunya buat aku mendapat yang terbaik dari Tuhan. Pasti akan datang waktunya dimana Dia menunjukkan yang terbaik buat aku. I lift my hope in You, Lord.

I want to give thanks for everything.
For the chances I got even I still don't get what is right.
For the daily living day by day.
For my health, friends and family.
For every single thing in my life...
I want to give thanks to You...

making decision in this life is not easy anyway...(1)

do you think it is easy to make a decision...if that is the decision for your life, for the WHOLE of your life...for me it is NOT EASY AT ALL!!!!

really not easy!!!

i even can't write anything now, although i have so many things inside my head even i have talked to san for 50 minutes! (this is really the first time he felt he needed to call me and let his pulse finished in one go) - thanks bun, i love you so much!... there are still a lot of ideas, conflicts in my mind.

one clue: this is about 'job hunting'.

i am going to finish my course this early of May. i need to quickly find a job.

why?

• i need to continue my life, paying room rental, food, transportation, etc.
• i need to pay back tuition fee loan.
• i want to give back to my parents
• i want to save some money for future needed (marriage, school, house?, car?)

what kind of job?

• it is suggested not to continue working in project management field. it leads you to be a leader, a project manager who manage and control.
• it is suggested to continue working as an architect who does drawing and detailing. it sounds more appropriate as a woman (who will be a wife also) to maintain a character of caring, documenting and detailing.

so, what's the problem?

• of course it is a problem! (maybe a problem for me who doesn't know what God exactly wants me to be, not realize where He is going to guide me...hikz)

to be continued...

Eeyore Theology

“Eeyore theology”?

Eeyore, Winnie-the-Pooh’s gloomy donkey friend, always walks slowly with his head down. He sees the negative side of everything.

When we see the value of each moment and live in the glory of our redemption and the joy of our blessings in Christ, we show our delight in God to our children and grandchildren (Psalm 90:16-17).

When trials assail and my moods descend,
When pain and sorrow seem never to end,
I yield to You, Lord,
so that I may seeThe peace and the joy You’ve promised me.
—Fitzhugh

You won’t be a child of despair if you remember your Father’s care.

Let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us, and establish the work of our hands. —Psalm 90:17

some quotes that blessed me today, taken from Our Daily Bread, March 26, 2007

It's all about Him!

Sometimes our plans break down and our efforts fall short.
When things happen that we can’t control, we must “keep on travelin’” and remember where the real power for godly living and true praise comes from.
When our efforts falter, we need to keep praising and lifting up Jesus.
It’s all about Him anyway.

—Dave Branon
taken from Our Daily Bread, March 23, 2007